From IHM School

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

Looking at science projects

On the Christian Training of Children

Chapter VI. - How the Christian Mother Should Combat Pride in Her Child.

In the last two chapters I have briefly pointed out how a Christian Mother may successfully counteract in a child its inborn lust of the eyes and of the flesh. The means recommended are, indeed, effective but not infallible, unless the mother will reenforce [sic] her instructions, her admonitions and her corrections by the mortification of her own evil inclinations and by presenting to her children in her own daily life an example of self-denial and restraint. Teaching and good example are practically certain of producing favorable results under the grace of God. In the present chapter I shall give a more detailed instruction on the manner of combating the third concupiscence, called by St. John the pride of life. The conquering of this concupiscence is more difficult, because the sins caused by it, seemingly contain something elevating and pure, although they are more offensive to God and more destructive to the soul. Some pious author distinguished the lust of the eyes as a human fault, the lust of the flesh as a bestial aberration, but the pride of life as a hellish, a devilish guilt. Pride is, indeed, the worst of the three concupiscences and must, therefore, be combated just as relentlessly as the other two.

St. Michael the Archangel with the cry-Who is like to God-drove the bad angels out of heaven and out of the company of the good angels. In the same manner a Christian Mother should contemplate the dignity and majesty of God, and remember His rightful claim upon our worship and submission; hence like St. Michael she must not relax in her efforts, until the devil of pride is cast out of the heart of her child, and the child itself, strengthened in earnest piety, has become an angel of humility and modesty, of obedience and good deportment.

The first visible sign of pride in a child is wilfulness [sic]. In combating it, the mother must, indeed, manifest a knowing and prudent love which never connives at a child’s contrariness or humors its exhibitions of obstinacy. The child may weep and cry, it may fuss and stomp its feet-the more unruly it conducts itself, the more the mother must ignore it. Such treatment will soon put an end to its noisy demonstrations, and the child will gradually show a more tractable disposition. Then also insist on immediate and prompt obedience. “A good child must obey quickly.”

Shut the Door - a skit performed by the 7th & 8th grades for Saint Patrick's Day

Irreverence, stubborness [sic] and insubordination must not be tolerated. A command given by father or mother, must be carried out, and the child that will not obey, should be banished from the table and from the presence of father and mother and no conciliatory countenance be turned to it until it has fulfilled the will of its parents. Certainly the directions and the commands of father and mother must not exceed the limitations of the child; they should be reasonable and well-considered, and be given with dignified earnestness, in brief and gentle words, and with perceptible marks of affection. Children should be taught to obey cheerfully to please their parents; they should obey conscientiously, whether they be observed or not, because Jesus Christ gave the example of obedience, because parents are representatives of God, because the will of the parents is the will of God, because obedience or disobedience to them is obedience or disobedience to God, and therefore will be rewarded or punished by God.

Considerate and affectionate demands on the part of the parents, and ready, cheerful obedience on the part of the children are the foundation stones of a good education. When, therefore, a good education is not achieved it is usually due to some defect in the exercise of parental authority or in the observance of filial submission. Generally speaking, the greatest fault is on the side of the parents. Children are so completely dependent on their parents, that they must practically obey, if the parents earnestly insist upon it. When the children are disobedient, disrespectful, bold and spiteful, there is no other cause but lack of firmness and enforcement of parental rights. In every Christian family one principle must always stand forth in the fullness of its meaning, namely: Not the will of the children is law, but the children must obey the will of the parents without exception and without contradiction.

Another St. Patrick's Day skit

Other manifestations of pride are meddlesomeness, lying, and an assumption of cleverness and wisdom. Among girls are to be found especially dissimulation, self-love, vanity and conceit. A child must be trained to be truthful and sincere in its words and its conduct, and simple and modest in all its dealings with others. Whatever good it may possess, it should consider an undeserved gift of God, for which it must be grateful, and of the use of which it must some day render a strict account. The child’s attention should be called to its own shortcomings, and at the same [time] be directed to the good qualities of others, to the virtues of the saints and to the perfections of God, so that it may learn to think lowly of itself and willingly humble itself before others.

Pride shows itself also in quarrelsomeness, in lording it over others, and in vengefulness. Among boys, in particular, we also find as a fruit of pride a certain spirit of independence which brooks no restraint, and ambition that tolerates no rivalry, and a coarseness of feeling that borders on brutality. All these qualities are evidences of a hard heart and must be corrected with a firm hand; and, if no improvement is observed, mother and father should even resort to severe corporal punishment.

After the child’s natural roughness has been pretty well polished off in this manner, it must also be taught to get rid of its sensitiveness or touchiness and to conquer its natural aversions or dislikes. The wonderful example of Christ should constantly be kept before its mind, especially His patient endurance of all kinds of injuries, His imperturbably meekness and mildness and His everready [sic] willingness to forgive His enemies and traducers for whom He even prayed after they nailed Him to the Cross. Surely this example will have a powerful influence over the impressionable child-mind and inspire the child to earnest efforts of imitation.

Immaculate Heart of Mary - The high school classroom statue

The worst fruits of human pride are sins against God Himself, namely, indifference to religion and religious practices. These manifest themselves by repeated neglect of divine service, particularly, of the Holy Sacrifice of Mass, by irreverent conduct in Church and at devotional exercises, by desecration of the Lord’s Day and feast days of obligation, by superstitious observances and mockery of religion, by ridiculing the veneration of the saints, their pictures and relics, by cursing and sinful taking of oaths and such other sins against the three first commandments of the decalogue. Indifference towards God and all that relates to Him is, indeed, at the bottom of man’s perversity as of all sin, and only in so far as this indifference can be rooted out, can the heart of man be remodeled and the image of the Divinity be restored in him. Hence the principal efforts must be directed towards this purpose and parents must never cease till they have implanted into the hearts of their children a sincere love of God and a salutary filial fear of Him, till they have awakened in them an ardent zeal for His honor and glory and an eager, joyous readiness to live according to His Will. In this matter, particularly, parents must give a good example, so that the child may see that they themselves are sincerely and truly religious.

The parents must also carefully observe the child at its prayers, never condone any fault in the recital of them, immediately correct any faulty pronunciation of the names of God or of the saints, and, in general, supervise its conduct in all matters pertaining to religion and its practices. Faults and sins against the first three commandments must not be considered lightly and should be earnestly reprehended and, if necessary, more severely punished than faults and sins against any other commandment. The degree of firmness with which parents persist in their efforts to educate and train their children in the proper reverence towards God and religion, will naturally depend upon the degree of esteem in which they hold their dignity as representatives of God and guardians of His honor; the more they realize the dignity of their position, the more they will uphold and defend the rights of God.

To be continued . . .