From IHM School

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

On the Christian Training of Children

A well-earned treat after climbing the 294 stairs of the Bunker Hill Monument

Chapter XI. – A Christian Mother’s Co-operation with Pastor and Teacher

The first aids of a mother in her arduous task of properly rearing her children are derived from the sacramental grace of matrimony. They come to her in the form of supernatural inspirations, interior counsels, admonitions and encouragements. Besides these there are also external aids, among which the father of her little ones holds the first place; then we may add older brothers and sisters and servants of the household. All of these, if good and virtuous, will at least exert a morally educative influence by their good example and by occasional admonitions. In a wider sense the whole environment of the child, made up of playmates, relatives, friends and school companions, collaborate with the mother in the moral and intellectual development of the child. Indeed, even such who speak unfavorably of the qualities of her boy or girl, may be considered as a help in this task, because through their seemingly unkind criticism the mother frequently becomes aware of some fault or faults in the children, which might never be detected by her. But by far the most powerful external aid she derives from the pastor of the parish and from the child’s teacher at school

Happy to be Our Lady's flower girls

Church and school are, indeed, powerful aids; but they cannot do the whole work, they can merely help. The principal work must be done at home, as well in the matter of instruction as particularly in the matter of discipline.

The education of the child should begin in mother’s arms. Mother should even at this early stage direct the child’s attention to the external objects, which may be perceived with the eyes, the ears or the touch, and thus inaugurate the development of the external senses. As the child grows older, she should assist it in expanding its circle of observation, with patient interest listen to its questioning, and be willing to satisfy its awakening curiosity by answering according to the truth and according to the child’s mental capacity. The words the child tries to enunciate, she should strive to have it pronounce as exactly and distinctly as possible, especially such as make up forms of prayer, even though the child does not understand them. The good God understands His little child of grace and the Holy Ghost gives it a modicum of perception, through which the child learns to love the holy words it speaks. Gradually the child will acquire through its associations and environment a knowledge of many visible things and conditions, and also a greater knowledge of God, of Christ, of the Blessed Virgin, of the saints, and of may truths of our Holy Faith. In this way the foundation is laid upon which the school will erect a still greater edifice of learning and knowledge. In this way the child’s interest has been roused and, when the schooldays arrive, the child listens eagerly, attentively and intelligently to the teachings of priest and teacher, and to the joy of its parents, it makes rapid progress in all its schoolwork.

Graduating Class of 2009 (in third grade)

During its years at school the child should be allowed sufficient time to study its lessons and perform its homework. The parents should carefully supervise these home-lessons, and urge the child to apply itself to all its studies. The parents should also examine the child in its memory-work and from time to time inquire from its teacher regarding its attention and deportment in school. According to these reports the parents should either praise or reprimand and even punish the child if milder means produce no improvement. The child should as far as possible never miss school. Indeed, parents should strive to teach the child to love attending the school by encouraging words and occasional rewards for faithful attendance. After the day’s work is done the child should be allowed to enjoy itself in innocent games and recreations. And just as the love for school must be instilled into the child so also the love of church attendance should be encouraged by every possible means; and it should be urged to attend [M]ass not only on school-days but also on free days, but especially on Sundays and feastdays of obligation.

The discipline which is demanded from the child at school, must be an object of attention at home also, and a mother should assist the pastor and teacher in upholding that discipline. Neither pastor nor teacher will accomplish very much, if children have not been taught a high regard for their authority. Hence a mother should inculcate a deep reverence for the priest and teacher in the hearts of her little ones. She should make it plain to them, that just as the parents represent the authority of God and in the name of God must exact reverence, love and obedience, so also the priest and the teacher, being in school and church the substitutes of the parents, are entitled to the same reverence, love and obedience. She should also in her own words and deeds manifest the esteem which she teaches them to have for priest and teacher; she should never tolerate from her children nor in their presence from any one else any kind of slurring remarks or reproaches against the priest or teacher. Just as there must be no discord between father and mother, so also there must be no apparent differences between the parents and the proper authorities in school and church.

Consultation . . .

Whenever differences do occur, they should be amicably settled and should never be argued in the presence of the children. Only by such mutual helpfulness, harmony and cooperation, will the best interests of the child be served and its temporal and eternal welfare by safeguarded.

Parents and children should pray for each other and for the priest and the teacher, just as priest and teacher will pray for them. Indeed, through earnest prayer for relief in each other’s needs mutual affection will be upheld, peace will be maintained and harmony will be promoted. Through prayer for each other we bring upon our efforts the blessings of God, the grace to conquer temptation and the fortitude to combat all obstacles. Briefly we may affirm that united prayers are the source of every spiritual success as well as the condition of the means to obtain the desired results according to the words of our Divine Teacher Himself who said: wherever two or three are united in prayer, they will obtain all they ask for.

A Christian mother must never send her children to a school where the belief in God and His commandments are not taught, where the doctrines of Christ are not accepted, nor Christ Himself is recognized as the Son of God, where Christian principles are made subservient to the principles of the world.

Graduate of 2007 with her grandparents

When you send your children to such a school, you are endangering the salvation of their souls, even though such a school may have otherwise the reputation of solid learning. The worldly advantages of such a neutral school may, indeed, be of great benefit to the future temporal well-being of your children, but the danger threatening their spiritual welfare should be the determining factor, and no truly Christian parents will let merely worldly consideration influence the choice of a school for their children. In the choice of a school mother and father should be determined by the words of Christ: “What doth it profit a man if he gain the whole world, but suffer the loss of his own soul?”

Still circumstances may exist which practically force parents to send their children to a non-religious and neutral school. In this case the parents should investigate the spirit of that school. If it is not antagonistic to positive religion, if there need be no fear for faith or morality, and if the bishop or the pastor also approves the school under the existing conditions, parents may decide to send their children there; but they should also provide in some way for adequate instructions in religion, when they must send their boys and girls to such a school. If the school is downright irreligious or heretical, they should never send the children to it. If parents are at liberty to choose from different good schools, we would earnestly advise them to choose the school where religion and Christian disciple pervades the whole atmosphere, even though the children may not learn so much there as in another.

To be continued . . .