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The Christian Training of Children – Preparing a Child for Confession

Sister Maria Philomena, M.I.C.M. — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:17:56 +0000

Table of contents for Mother Love

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

On the Christian Training of Children

Chapter XIII. – How a Christian Mother Should Prepare Her Child for Confession.

Third Grade students work on bean bags (a field trip fundraiser).

The sincere confession of sins and faults in union with a sincere sorrow for them and a firm resolution to amend is the best means to root out any bad habits or any evil inclination, as well as to strengthen the will in its determination to practice virtue and fulfill the daily duties and obligations. Confession teaches self-knowledge. Confession reveals the ugly side of our individuality, gives us a clearer view of our responsibility, and proves very vividly that sin, mortal and venial, is an offense, an insult against the supreme authority and majesty of God. Confession, therefore, has a distinct educative value in the development of character such as no other means can supply.

To obtain these results it is important to have the child thoroughly prepared and instructed in the proper manner of receiving the sacrament of Penance. No one can so easily and so effectively contribute to this thorough preparation as a pious father and a pious mother. Therefore parents should for the sake of their children make frequent use of the Holy Sacrament themselves. Their example will be the child’s first lesson on the subject of confession. The child will be deeply impressed when it observes how for some days after receiving the sacraments father and mother evidently are more subdued, more happy and peaceful, less irritable and less impatient.

Only clean consciences can work happily!

When, finally, the time arrives for the child to make its first confession, the parents should evince a cordial interest in its prospective happiness. They should carefully guard against frightening the child about confession and never represent confession as a difficult and laborious task; on the contrary they should represent it as comparatively easy. They should instill into the child’s heart love and confidence towards the priest who hears its confession in the name of Jesus Christ, in Whose name he is also ready to absolve every child, if it is sorry for its sins and resolved never to commit them again.

About a week before the day fixed for its first confession the parents should begin to pray with the child for the grace to make a good and worthy confession. The Our Father, the Hail Mary, or some other easy prayer will be suitable. The following prayer or at least a part of it may also serve the purpose:

O Jesus, my God and Savior, I have often been a naughty child, I have been bold and saucy, disobedient and stubborn, and in this way I have displease You very much, so that You could hardly love me any more. I wish I had never done anything wrong. My Lord, I am sorry for all the naughty things I have done. I will never do them again. I love You, Lord; please, forgive me all my sins and love me again also. Help me to make a good confession, and help the other children too.

If a child receives sufficient instruction in school, the parents’ task will be much easier. All they need do in this case, is to let the child tell them what was said in school, and then supply what the child may have forgotten. Certainly the task will be much more difficult if the school instruction is deficient. Then the duty will devolve upon the parents to instruct the child themselves. The following items may be of great usefulness to them.

Five things are necessary for a good confession:

1) Prayer to the Holy Ghost;

2) Examination of conscience;

3) Sorrow for sin and the resolution to sin no more;

4) Telling of our sins to the priest;

5) Satisfaction or penance.

The first is prayer to the Holy Ghost. This prayer the parents should have the child repeat frequently, till it has learned to say it devoutly. The following form may well serve the purpose:

Come, O Holy Ghost, and enlighten me that I may know my sins, be heartily
sorry for them, and sincerely confess them, and earnestly amend my life.

Our students make their first confession in first grade (usually). This Third Grade boy could give YOU some tips on "sewing a straight line" in your life.

Then follows the examination of conscience. When the child is quite young and has only learned the rudiments of the catechism, the parents should assist it in making this examination.

A good way to help children recall their sins is to remind them of how they behaved at home, at school, at church, on the street, on the playgrounds, towards father and mother, towards brothers and sisters, towards the teacher and towards other children. Parents should not ask their children to tell them the wrongs committed, but if a child should in its innocence reveal something which father and mother never expected it to do, they should not become excited over the revelation but use the opportunity calmly to recall the meaning of sin and the punishment which God will inflict for sin.

Children should also be assisted in making an act of contrition, and parents should consider it a privilege to teach them some form of this act. Any of the following will meet the purpose.

My Father in heaven, I am sorry for all the naughty things I have done because
They have displeased You Who are so good and kind, and because I love You.
I do love You, indeed I do. Please forgive me and help me to be a good child
after my confession.

O my God, I am sorry that I have sinned against You, because You are so good,
and I will sin no more.

O my God, I am sorry for all my sins. I hate them more than all evils, because
they deserve Thy dreadful punishments; I hate them because they offend Thy
infinite Goodness. Do not punish me as I deserve. Forgive me and I will try not
to do these sins again.

Older and better instructed children should be taught to make their examination of conscience by going through the then commandments of God, the six commandments of the Church, the nine ways of being accessory to the sins of others, and the seven capital sins.

The first commandment demands that the child recite daily and devoutly its morning and evening prayers, the grace before and after meals, and frequent acts of Faith, Hope, and Charity.

The second commandment requires reverence towards the names of God, of the Saints, and of holy things. It forbids therefore the abuse of the name of God and of Jesus Christ by using them as by-words or in curing and sinful swearing.

The cheerfulness of a clean soul!

The third commandment demands attendance at Mass on Sundays and feast days of obligation, and also attendance at Christian Doctrine instructions; it forbids on Sundays and feast days any kind of unnecessary manual labor, and at all times bad conduct in church, such as laughing, talking, playing, disturbing others at prayer, and inattention during church service.

The fourth commandment requires reverence, obedience, gratitude and love towards father and mother, towards the priest and the teacher; and these obligations also include that children gladly accept and follow the admonitions of their superiors; that they do not despise parents and superiors; neither offend, deceive, or provoke them, nor wish them evil or speak evil of them. Finally it commands to respect old people and forbids ridiculing them, etc.

The fifth commandment demands that all persons and especially those who are more closely connected with us, as brothers and sisters, relatives and comrades, be treated with respect and consideration and that we should do them no harm either in body or soul. Hence we should fail against this commandment if we are self-willed and disagreeable, contemptuous and hateful, rude and unmannerly, harsh and uncharitable, irritable and revengeful; if we quarrel, fight and strike others or in some other way seek to hurt them; if we curse ourselves and others, endanger our own lives and the lives of others, and unnecessarily inflict pain upon dumb animals. Finally we fail against it when we are accessory to the sin of others. There are nine ways of being accessory to the sins of others: 1) by counsel, 2) by command, 3) by consent, 4) by provocation, 5) by praise or flattery, 6) by silence, 7) by toleration, 8) by assistance, and 9) by defense of the evil done. Tolerating or not punishing a sin is a sin which parents and superior commit when they are too lenient and indulgent with their subjects. It is evident that children cannot be accessory to the sins of others in this manner, but in all other ways they also can cooperate with another’s sin.

The sixth and ninth commandments forbid all unchasteness in thought, imagination and desire, as well as in looks, words, and actions, and, in short, everything that might lead to such sins, as dangerous reading, dangerous games, dangerous company.

Wouldn't you like to buy a bean bag? We promise to give you the correct change.

The seventh and tenth commandments demand honesty and justice in all our dealings with others; therefore, they forbid pilfering and stealing, receiving stolen goods and keeping what was found, destroying and injuring the property of others. Children, furthermore, are not permitted even at home, to take anything that does not belong to them, nor give anything away without the permission or consent of their parents.

The eighth commandment demands truthfulness as well as respect for the honor and reputation of our fellow-men. Therefore it is a sin against this commandment to tell lies, may they be ever so slight, to insult our neighbor or speak badly about him whether it be true or not true. To make known secret faults of our neighbor without necessity is called detraction; to brand him with crimes and faults which are untrue is slander or calumny.

The commandments of the Church dictate the manner in which Sundays and feast days must be observed, and this has been referred to in the third commandment of God; but, besides, a child is obliged by the law of the Church also to abstain from flesh meat on Fridays and all days of abstinence, and is also bound to go to confession once a year and to receive Holy Communion at Easter time.

Finally children should be taught to examine themselves regarding the seven deadly or capital sins. Regarding pride they should ask themselves whether they raise themselves above their neighbor or even above God, and think themselves better than others. Sometimes children think they look pretty because of their hair or their dress or their eyes, and like to show off before others, etc. These actions are not real pride, but are indications of vanity and silliness.

Avarice shows itself in wanting everything for yourself, and never sharing with others any of the good things you may have.

Sins of lust are sins of unchasteness, as forbidden in the sixth commandment.

Envy shows itself when you grieve at the good things which others receive, and are glad when they meet with misfortune.

Gluttony is eating or drinking too much, or [doing] something which is injurious to the health of the body.

It takes concentration not to get distracted!

Sloth is to neglect the work which you should do, because you do not like to do it or do not feel like doing it; sloth shows itself also in omitting our daily prayers, missing Mass and other devotions in church, neglecting the study of the catechism, etc.

It is not advisable to let the younger children make their whole examination of conscience at one time; let them do it gradually so that their little minds do not tire, and they perhaps get disgusted with the whole matter. Neither should they get the impression as if the examination of conscience and the memorizing of the sins were the most important part in preparing for the sacrament of Penance. It is certainly true that they should remember their mortal sins well and the number of times these were committed; and the child must not be allowed to consider the examination as negligible. Still the emphasis should be given to the necessity of a sincere sorrow for sin and a firm purpose of amendment. Hence in the course of the examination the parents should repeatedly try to elicit in the child sentiments and acts of real contrition. This can be most easily accomplished by pointing out again and again the motives for sorrow in language which will be intelligible to the child. A long discourse on these motives would be of little value. A mother’s instinct will naturally find the best method, but for a little guidance herein we have appended a few suggestions.

After having given the child some time to recall its faults, for instance, against the fourth commandment of God, the mother might ask: “Well, my child, are you sorry for these sins?” Whether it answers, “yes” or “no,” mother should use the opportunity to recall to the child one of the motives of sorrow in the following manner: “My child, remember, that all sins, event he smallest, are insults against the good God and displease and provoke Him very much.”

It is a valuable assistance to mothers to have the Sisters to help them in the training of their children.

At another time she might say: “Remember, child, even venial sins are hated by God, and they lead slowly but surely to mortal sin, and mortal sin leads to the eternal punishment of hell; and do not forget, God punishes venial sins very severely even in this world, but especially in the fires of purgatory.” On another occasion she might remind the child of the horror of sin as follows: “Sin, my child, is indeed a very wicked thing, otherwise God would not have demanded that His beloved Son Jesus Christ suffer so many and cruel pains and tortures. To redeem us from sin and from hell the Son of God had to come from heaven, become man, be persecuted and hated and finally shed the last drop of His blood and die for us on the Cross.”

Again mother might speak to her child as follows: “Remember, my child, by every sin you do, you hurt Jesus just as much and even more than the Jews did. The Jews hurt His body only, but by sins you hurt His soul, His Heart which loves you so much, and desires to give you only what is good.” Finally, a mother might recall to the child all the great favors and benefits which God has bestowed on the child, such as life and health, food and clothing; the grace of baptism and of Christian instruction, the companionship and protection of the guardian angel, etc. Surely all these considerations repeatedly and earnestly retold will not fail to impress the tender heart of your child, and will fill it with a horror for everything sinful so that it will resolve never to be ungrateful again and never to commit a sin again, because God is so good and holy and sin is so vile and punishable. After you have accomplished this result, it may be very profitable if the mother or the father will recite with the child the following litany:

Lord, have mercy on us! Christ, have mercy on us!
Lord, have mercy on us! Christ, hear us! Christ, graciously hear us!
God the Father of heaven, have mercy on us!
God the Son, Redeemer of the world, have mercy on us!
God the Holy Ghost, have mercy on us!
Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy on us!
Thou who dost call all sinners to penance and the amendment of life, have mercy on us!
Thou who dost not take pleasure in chastisement and condemnation, etc.
Thou who dost will to preserve every creature from hell and render him happy,
Thou who hast promised me, also, pardon and grace if I am sorry for my sins and
never again commit them,
I have sinned,
I have repeatedly and thoughtlessly sinned,
I have trodden under foot Thy commandments,
I have not fulfilled my duties,
I have neither watched nor prayed,
I have not feared Thy punishments,
I have dishonored Thee,
I have irritated Thee,
I have renewed Thy Passion,
I have deserved the most severe punishments,
I am sorry that I ever committed a single sin,
I am sorry that I ever displeased Thee,
I am sorry that I was ever disobedient to Thee,
I am sorry that I was ever ungrateful to Thee,
I am sorry that I ever departed from Thy love,
I will now detest all evil,
I will now be carefully on my guard against it,
I will now cheerfully overcome myself,
I will pray repeatedly and devoutly,
I will consider sin the greatest evil on earth,
I will rather die than ever willfully commit a single sin again,
Grant me, O God, grace to keep my resolution,
Enlighten my understanding and strengthen my will,
Preserve me from temptation and seduction,
Protect me from the snares of the evil spirit,
Subdue my evil desires and passions,
Grant that I may rejoice in virtue and the fear of God,
Bestow upon me final perseverance in good,
Give to me a short and easy purgatory,
Take me to heaven and make me eternally happy,
Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, spare us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, graciously hear us, O Lord.
Lamb of God, who takest away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

Let us pray.
Heavenly Father, Thou dost love us so much and art willing to forgive us
when with a sorrowing heart we come to you for forgiveness. I have been very naughty and disobedient. I have not loved or honored Thee as I should. I deserve to be punished severely. Please forgive me my past sins, because I am sorry for them, and from now on I will never do anything willfully that I know displeases Thee. Love me again , O Lord, as Thou didst love me before. Love me as if I had never sinned; yes, love me more and help me to love Thee also more than anything else. Help me to keep my promise that I may always be Thy good and loving child, and may also give pleasure to my parents and teachers and to all my friends. Amen.

Your child, dear mother, is now ready for the cleansing, healing and helping graces of the sacrament of Penance. But before sending it to the confessional, instruct it also how it should enter the confessional, teach it the form it should use in beginning the confession, and also the one with which it should close its confession. Finally instruct it also to make a short thanksgiving after confession, and then to say the penance which the priest imposed. Then let your child “show itself to the priest” so that he may bless it and by the words of absolution purify it from the stains of sins and adorn it with the garb of sanctifying grace.

Bean bags are very useful for a variety of games and using energy that could get children into trouble. (Bean bags are also useful for developing physical coordination skills!) Would you like any for Christmas presents?

When the child returns from church, receive it, dear mother, with evident signs of joy and admonish it to make itself worthy of the great mercy it has just obtained. Watch over its conduct closely for the next few days, and remind it occasionally of its good resolutions.

Oh, how much good a Christian mother can achieve by taking a personal interest in her child’s confessions! She thereby sows a seed that is bound to bring forth fruit a thousandfold. Surely it requires much tact and much tender solicitude, but all her loving efforts will be richly rewarded when she sees her little ones earnestly responding and striving to make a good and worthy confession. And as they begin in their childhood to appreciate the value of this holy sacrament, she may confidently expect that also in later life they will find in it a source of consolation and of spiritual rejuvenation and strength against the dangers and the temptations of the wicked world. Through their whole lives and in eternity they will be ever grateful to your solicitude which familiarized them with this treasury of grace and opened to them the gates of heaven.

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The Christian Training of Children – Care of Young Adults

Sister Maria Philomena, M.I.C.M. — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 14:56:53 +0000

Table of contents for Mother Love

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [concluded]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926) On the Christian Training of Children

Chapter XII. – A Christian Mother’s Care of Her Child after the Period of School-Life.

The periods of childhood and school-life are soon past, and then there begins a period of life which is, indeed, fraught with dangers for your son and your daughter. It is the period of transition in which the life-course of your child is definitely settled, its character firmly fixed, and its vocation decided. It is the period which decides the weal or woe of your child’s whole future, both temporal and eternal. During this period the battle between Christ and Satan, between the Church and the World, rages more than ever for the possession of the heart of your growing boy and girl. In this period your child experiences new and strange sensations; and novel ideas, inclinations and desires present themselves; they promise pleasure and more or less insistently demand gratification. On every side the child beholds the alluring appeals of the three-fold concupiscence, everywhere it sees the wanton abandon with which the votaries of the world seem to surrender themselves to every enjoyment and pleasure. Few it sees who follow in the footsteps of Christ, few who mortify their passions and deny their inclinations, and these few are despised and ridiculed. Will your child join the big crowd, or will it follow in the wake of the few?

This is not all that faces your child, dear Christian Mother, in making its choice. Your boy and your girl have started to feel their importance since graduating from school. They are working, they are earning money which every week helps to meet the expenses for the upkeep of the family. They feel that, because they are contributing towards the family funds, they ought to have more liberty than heretofore and be allowed to be the masters of their time and of their action. The urge of independence is becoming stronger.

They do not want you to interfere with their “fun,” as they call it. All the young people are having good times, why shouldn’t they have them just as well?

These two new conditions — the strange physical manifestations and the urge of independence — are the factors that make it so necessary for the prudent mother to keep her eyes more widely open than ever. If ever, so especially now a mother should possess the full confidence of her boy and girl, and strive to hold it without seeming to pry into any secrets. This may be difficult at times, but if the child has been reared according to the principles and suggestions laid down in this book, it ought to be comparatively easy. The boy and girl and have come to realize that mother is not unsympathetic, that, while she believes life to be an earnest duty, she at the same time believes that it should be generously interspersed with innocent amusements and recreations and with every comfort and ease that is compatible with Christian ideals and principles. And there need be no special effort to confirm your boy and girl in this view. Having held their confidence for so many years, you need but sympathize with the new spirit that possesses them and, ordinarily they will accept your interpretations of the changing phases of their life. But in her sympathy mother must not compromise her position. She must not only be her children’s sympathetic companion and guide, she must also remain the queen of her home and assert her God-given right of authority. Therefore, while she may relax somewhat in supervising every detail of her growing children’s actions, yet she must not tolerate any willful disobedience in moral problems of importance. The following paragraphs will attempt to show how a Christina mother may cope with the various phases of this new period of her children’s life.

In the first place a Christian mother will direct her children at this period in the employment of their time. As long as the children went to school, the school practically regulated their time on account of the demands which their teachers and their lessons made upon them. Since their graduation from school, the children will have much leisure time which must be well utilized if it should not make them dissipated. In every household there should be a regular daily routine, which barring extraordinary cases should be observed faithfully. There should be a fixed hour for rising, a fixed hour for family morning prayer, a fixed hour for breakfast, a fixed hour for going to or beginning work, a fixed time for the noon-meal and the return to work, a fixed time for the evening meal and a fixed time and a fixed period for recreation and relaxation and enjoyment, a for profitable reading, for self-improvement, both intellectual and physical, and a fixed time for family night prayer. The son, having finished school, should be assigned to the work for which his talents, natural gifts and abilities fit him. It may be that he is fitted for more than just manual labor. In this case his parents should strive to give him the opportunity to become proficient in the profession most suitable to him, may it be law, medicine, business, or some particular commercial pursuit. He should be encouraged in his ambitions, as long as they do not interfere with the interests of his soul, and if they are not beyond the family finances.

As regards the daughter we would strongly discourage the idea of putting girls to work among strangers at the age of sixteen. We believe in the old-fashioned idea of keeping them at home and teaching them the important occupation of housewifery in some shape or form. There are so many domestic duties to be fulfilled, duties which mean so much for the comfort and the happiness of home-life. Girls should become acquainted with and learn all of them, cooking, washing, cleaning, sewing, darning, fancy work, etc. After girls have become older and after they have been trained in the various duties of housework, they may, if necessary, be allowed to go out to work, but they should be given charge of some of the household duties even then. The principal aim in the training of the girls must be, after all, to fit them for good housewives and mothers.

The next point of importance is recreation. How much recreation should boys and girls have? There certainly must be a limit, though, in general, we may say that it should be plentiful, taking care merely that recreation and enjoyment do not interfere with the proper fulfillment of the daily duties. When pleasures are sought merely for the sake of enjoyment we consider them injurious to the spiritual welfare of a person. If in any way possible, all recreation and pleasure should be provided for at home, music, singing, dancing, interesting books, games, cards, etc. The more attractive and pleasant you can make your home, the less desire your children will have to seek their enjoyments outside, and the more the family will keep united. Fewer sins are committed in a bright home than in a dull, gloomy one, and this is surely a great gain. As much as possible, the frequentation of theaters, public dances and amusement places should be discouraged and, indeed, should not be allowed except under the escort of mother or of some discreet elderly person; this should at least be the rule for the girls. Outdoor games, such as baseball, tennis, swimming, skating, and others are very conducive to the physical well-being of the young, and should also be readily allowed, but never to be pursued so far as to become a passion, or an injury to the health.

The choice of companions or friends is a third point that requires the earnest attention of a good Christian mother. All the good which a careful education may have sowed into the hearts of your children, can be rooted out again in a very short time by dangerous companions and friends. Experience only too frequently has proven the truth of that Scriptural proverb, “Evil associations corrupt good manners.” Mother should investigate thoroughly the moral character of every companion of her son or daughter before approving of the companionship. Innocence and faith are easily endangered, love of God and peace of conscience are easily lost, and neither can be regained except through mighty struggles and severe penance, if at all. Particular supervision must be exercised in your children’s associations with persons of the opposite sex. All the warnings that mother ever heard from the pulpit or read in books of instruction should be ever before her mind, so that her boy and her girl may not become victims of the devil of lust who only too often lurks under the guise of refinement and etiquette.

The choice of books and other reading material is another grave matter. Mother should never permit any trashy novel to come into her house whether it be gotten at the public library, or be bought at a nearby newsstand. No magazine, pamphlet or newspaper of whatever type — literary, scientific, political, economic, or social — should be permitted if it contains anything that might be contrary to good faith and good morals. Both the son and daughter should be earnestly warned against picking up indiscriminately every magazine that flaunts gay colors or a catchy title. A good rule which mother should inculcate into the hearts of both her sons and daughters is the following: “Never read a book by yourself, which you would blush to read aloud to a respectable person.”

Mother should also gently but firmly urge the practice of weekly confession and communion. She should also recommend devout assistance at daily Mass and at the ordinary church services, and whatever she admonishes her children to do, she herself should practice and induce her husband and the father of her children to fulfill as far as his business or work permits. Here we would also urge mother to have her boy and her girl enrolled in the young men’s or the young ladies’ sodality, and she should send them to the vocational instructions which are occasionally given by the sodality director. Those instructions will no doubt supplement many of her own admonitions and teachings and will keep alive in her children the earlier instructions of their schooldays.

It may be that God will inspire your son or daughter with the desire of consecrating themselves to a higher, to the more perfect life in the service of God. This call should be appreciated, indeed, as a special favor of God, and if your boy be otherwise fitted for the holy priesthood, dear Christian Mother, rejoice! Do not oppose his desire, but urge him to seek the advice of his confessor, who will more thoroughly investigate the purity of the boy’s intentions and who will advise the manner of preserving and attaining his desire. And if your daughter desires to devote her life in holy virginity to the care of the sick or to the education of the young and ignorant, encourage her in her laudable aspirations and thank God that He has singled out one of your own flesh and blood for so noble a calling. Indeed, the world may speak about the burying of talents behind gloomy convent or monastery walls, it may deplore what it calls the fanaticism which prompts a young man to forego a brilliant worldly career in exchange for the tame career of a priest, but all the criticism of the worldly-minded should not be allowed to influence your willingness to surrender your daughter or your son to God’s service and the service of mankind. Christ’s call of your children – If thou wilt be perfect, come and follow me — is, indeed, a pledge of their salvation and even of your own; if you place no obstacles in their way to obey that call.

Matrimony is the other vocation, which your son or daughter might choose. Teach your children to consider this state of life also as a holy one, and fraught with momentous and noble obligations; that it entails many sacrifices, sorrows and suffering, though these are coupled also with many pleasures and with many merits for eternity. In choosing a companion for life, the Christian mother should advise her boy or girl against making mistakes. A mistake in this choice will be a misfortune, indeed, for it can never be remedied. Passion and infatuation are poor guides in this decision. Wise reflection and calm, judicious deliberation with father and mother as well as with the confessor are indispensable in making a wise choice, a choice, that promises with some guarantee a future of temporal happiness and eternal salvation. Surely physical and intellectual accomplishments and talents will greatly influence the final decision, but “the one thing necessary” for both parties is sincere Catholicity, Christian virtue and earnest piety. These three form the solid foundation for a happy marriage, all others are merely contributing factors. Associations and friendships with non-Catholics should not be fostered lest perhaps the danger of a mixed marriage arise. Mixed marriages are forbidden by the Church, and this should be sufficient reason to make them odious to a sincere Catholic. A marriage forbidden by the Church cannot be acceptable in the eyes of God, must not be countenanced by good Catholic parents, and dare not be desired by a Catholic youth or maiden.

After the life-partner has been chosen and the engagement has been closed, the parents must not relax their vigilance over the young couple. Liberties and familiarities should not be permitted to them, and they should not be allowed to meet except in the presence of a third person; at least, they should not be permitted to be alone together for any length of time. They should be admonished to receive the sacraments frequently before the day of marriage, if possible, every week, to foster a tender devotion to the purest Virgin Mary and her most chaste Spouse, St. Joseph, and thus to prepare their hearts for receiving the Holy Sacrament of Matrimony, and also to escape the allurements of unholy passion.

Let the wedding day be celebrated in a decent manner without too much worldly pomp and clamor. Catholics should always remember that the day of the wedding is a holy day, and that our Lord Himself sanctifies it by deigning to become a guest in the souls of the bride and bridegroom.

After the marriage has taken place the parents should assist the young couple with impartial affection, and in the little ups-and-downs which naturally occur in the course of married life, they should encourage them to bear with patience each other’s faults, to rear their children in the fear and piety of the Lord, and in all things to place their confidence in the Providence of God. It is then that parents may expect to reap the fruits of the education they have given their children. In the happiness of their children, in their grateful love, as well as in the reverence in which they are held, father and mother enjoy a sweet and well-earned reward for the innumerable and great sacrifices which they once made. Therefore, father and mother, continue to follow your children with your prayers and counsels, your admonitions and your encouragements. But in your love for them do not during your life-time share all your material possessions with them and thus make yourself entirely dependent on them. Many sad examples show the imprudence of such a proceeding. Many a father and many a mother who relied too much upon the fine promises of their children and who expected greater filial devotion and love in exchange for their own generosity, were cruelly neglected and their death was hailed with joy by their precious offspring.

In concluding these instructions we would earnestly urge all Christian parents to decorate their homes with some expressive marks of their Catholic Faith, such as crucifixes, holy water fonts, images or pictures of our Lord, of the Blessed Virgin Mary, of St. Joseph, of the Guardian Angel, and of some Saint or Saints to whom they may have a special devotion. We would recommend a crucifix for every bedroom besides a picture of the Blessed Virgin in the bedrooms of the girls as well as of the boys. A beautiful picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus would surely be an ornament even to the most gorgeously furnished parlor. In every bedroom there should also be found a holy water font, which should always contain a generous supply of holy water. Besides these religious articles each Christian family should possess a number of pious books of instruction and edification, which may serve as spiritual reading for the members of the family. We would recommend a large family Bible and a more or less elaborate volume of the Lives of the Saints. Furthermore, a larger catechism with popular explanations of the text should be considered an important general household book. For general spiritual instruction in our warfare against passion, temptation, and sin, Scupoli’s Spiritual Combat was highly recommended and also extensively used by St. Francis de Sales. Appropriate prayerbooks are Father Lasance’s Young Man’s Guide and Catholic Girls’ Guide, and for Christian Mothers the prayerbook, Mother Love. A special book of spiritual value is Introduction to a Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales. There are other books which might appeal more to the individual taste, but it would lead too far to mention them all. Your pastor will surely be glad to give you any desired information and will gladly furnish you also with the addresses of the firms from which the above-mentioned or any other books may be purchased.

Finis

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The Christian Training of Children – Rewards and Punishments

Sister Maria Philomena, M.I.C.M. — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 14:20:20 +0000

Table of contents for Mother Love

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

On the Christian Training of Children

Temper tantrums in adults (or students acting adult parts) are not pretty.

Chapter VII. - Of Rewards and Punishments.

A stubborn evil spirit that resists the ordinary means of control, is driven out according to the words of our Lord by prayer and fasting. This is also the means by which deeply-rooted defects and faults in children must be driven out. Prayer and fasting will win. Still as long as a child is young enough to be coerced, it should be compelled to pray and fast in its own behalf, though it may be good and advisable that a mother pray for such a child and offer for it many personal acts of self-denial. Prayer humbles the spirit, while fasting chastens the flesh and is the sovereign remedy against sensuality.

This two-fold means is indicated in all cases which do not yield to admonitions and remonstrances, nor to kind words or threats. The mother should consider the source of the fault–pride or sensuality–and choose the remedy accordingly. But she should remember that prayer alone, though very efficacious, will not in itself subdue a proud spirit. It is also necessary to make the child feel humiliation. This may be done by showing preference to its brothers and sisters, by being brief and curt, by disregarding its advances, by isolating it from the others, and by other such minor humiliations.

Humiliations come in many forms.

Repeated faults of sensuality are most easily conquered by denying a child a dessert or some delicacies and knick-knacks for which it may have a special predilection; in extreme cases sine favorite dish of necessary food may also be denied. In serious breaches of sensuality the child should be compelled to sleep on a hard, springless bed, or some other physical chastisement be administered with the palm of the hand or with the rattan or rod. Hardness of heart against the poor should be conquered by distributing alms to the needy through the hand of the child, avarice and greed may be corrected by depriving the child of things to which it may be much attached and by insisting upon its sharing liberally with its brothers and sisters whatever it possesses. The same means, namely distributing alms through the hands of the child and denial of the comforts and luxuries of life, may be used when the child is inclined to extravagance.

The choice of the particular punishment to be administered in the individual case must be a subject of intelligent study. A mother’s intention must never be merely the infliction of pain, but rather the amendment of the child. Severe punishments should only be resorted to, when light punishments produce no results. The punishment also which was fixed upon, should never be applied more severely than necessary, and it should always be administered with due regard for the child’s physical condition. Frequent mistakes are made in the choice and infliction of chastisement.

Drama queens require special treatment.

They are mostly administered without reflection, on the spur of the moment and thoughtlessly. On one occasion parents will punish excessively, and on another not enough, or not at all. Would to God that every mother and every father understood the value of conscientious punishment! The punishment of children has for its object the correction and amendment of faults, and if it is to produce these results, parents must consider it one of their most important obligations, the faithful fulfillment of which becomes a source of untold benefit to their boys and girls and also the occasion of infinite merits to themselves.

However, it is not sufficient to inculcate merely a fear of sin in the hearts of children by the infliction of some punishment; parents must also instil [sic] in them a love of virtue for its own sake and for the sake of the joys and rewards attached to the practice of virtue. This may be done by portraying to them the inner peace which is consequent upon the doing of good works in the service of God and of our neighbor, and by describing in some appropriate story the unrest and remorse of conscience which the sinner experiences after his misdeeds.

Sticky Fingers claims her own reward (and then loses it).

Parents should not be chary of words of commendation and encouragement when a child perseveringly strives to get rid of some fault, or when it had performed some act of self-denial, of patience, of kindness, of obedience, or of forgiveness, which perhaps required no little moral courage. Indeed, mother and father should show sincere pleasure in any act of virtue that the child might perform, and at times, even reward it with some material recompense. Still, in doing so, they should remind the child of the greater pleasure which God has in its well-doing, and how He will reward it with the eternal happiness of His own heavenly home, if it will only persevere in its efforts till the end of its days.

Valuable presents and extraordinary pleasures should rarely be given as a reward. Trifling gifts and minor enjoyments may be granted, but not too frequently, otherwise the child may learn to despise them. The child should never join in the amusements proper to adults only, neither should it be drawn into their cares and worries. The longer we can preserve in the children the simplicity and the innocence of childhood, the more shall we be able also to preserve in them the spirit of docility and obedience and their love for the simple pleasures of home-life.

To be continued . . .

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The Christian Training of Children – Combating Pride

Sister Maria Philomena, M.I.C.M. — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 20:19:14 +0000

Table of contents for Mother Love

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

Looking at science projects

On the Christian Training of Children

Chapter VI. - How the Christian Mother Should Combat Pride in Her Child.

In the last two chapters I have briefly pointed out how a Christian Mother may successfully counteract in a child its inborn lust of the eyes and of the flesh. The means recommended are, indeed, effective but not infallible, unless the mother will reenforce [sic] her instructions, her admonitions and her corrections by the mortification of her own evil inclinations and by presenting to her children in her own daily life an example of self-denial and restraint. Teaching and good example are practically certain of producing favorable results under the grace of God. In the present chapter I shall give a more detailed instruction on the manner of combating the third concupiscence, called by St. John the pride of life. The conquering of this concupiscence is more difficult, because the sins caused by it, seemingly contain something elevating and pure, although they are more offensive to God and more destructive to the soul. Some pious author distinguished the lust of the eyes as a human fault, the lust of the flesh as a bestial aberration, but the pride of life as a hellish, a devilish guilt. Pride is, indeed, the worst of the three concupiscences and must, therefore, be combated just as relentlessly as the other two.

St. Michael the Archangel with the cry-Who is like to God-drove the bad angels out of heaven and out of the company of the good angels. In the same manner a Christian Mother should contemplate the dignity and majesty of God, and remember His rightful claim upon our worship and submission; hence like St. Michael she must not relax in her efforts, until the devil of pride is cast out of the heart of her child, and the child itself, strengthened in earnest piety, has become an angel of humility and modesty, of obedience and good deportment.

The first visible sign of pride in a child is wilfulness [sic]. In combating it, the mother must, indeed, manifest a knowing and prudent love which never connives at a child’s contrariness or humors its exhibitions of obstinacy. The child may weep and cry, it may fuss and stomp its feet-the more unruly it conducts itself, the more the mother must ignore it. Such treatment will soon put an end to its noisy demonstrations, and the child will gradually show a more tractable disposition. Then also insist on immediate and prompt obedience. “A good child must obey quickly.”

Shut the Door - a skit performed by the 7th & 8th grades for Saint Patrick's Day

Irreverence, stubborness [sic] and insubordination must not be tolerated. A command given by father or mother, must be carried out, and the child that will not obey, should be banished from the table and from the presence of father and mother and no conciliatory countenance be turned to it until it has fulfilled the will of its parents. Certainly the directions and the commands of father and mother must not exceed the limitations of the child; they should be reasonable and well-considered, and be given with dignified earnestness, in brief and gentle words, and with perceptible marks of affection. Children should be taught to obey cheerfully to please their parents; they should obey conscientiously, whether they be observed or not, because Jesus Christ gave the example of obedience, because parents are representatives of God, because the will of the parents is the will of God, because obedience or disobedience to them is obedience or disobedience to God, and therefore will be rewarded or punished by God.

Considerate and affectionate demands on the part of the parents, and ready, cheerful obedience on the part of the children are the foundation stones of a good education. When, therefore, a good education is not achieved it is usually due to some defect in the exercise of parental authority or in the observance of filial submission. Generally speaking, the greatest fault is on the side of the parents. Children are so completely dependent on their parents, that they must practically obey, if the parents earnestly insist upon it. When the children are disobedient, disrespectful, bold and spiteful, there is no other cause but lack of firmness and enforcement of parental rights. In every Christian family one principle must always stand forth in the fullness of its meaning, namely: Not the will of the children is law, but the children must obey the will of the parents without exception and without contradiction.

Another St. Patrick's Day skit

Other manifestations of pride are meddlesomeness, lying, and an assumption of cleverness and wisdom. Among girls are to be found especially dissimulation, self-love, vanity and conceit. A child must be trained to be truthful and sincere in its words and its conduct, and simple and modest in all its dealings with others. Whatever good it may possess, it should consider an undeserved gift of God, for which it must be grateful, and of the use of which it must some day render a strict account. The child’s attention should be called to its own shortcomings, and at the same [time] be directed to the good qualities of others, to the virtues of the saints and to the perfections of God, so that it may learn to think lowly of itself and willingly humble itself before others.

Pride shows itself also in quarrelsomeness, in lording it over others, and in vengefulness. Among boys, in particular, we also find as a fruit of pride a certain spirit of independence which brooks no restraint, and ambition that tolerates no rivalry, and a coarseness of feeling that borders on brutality. All these qualities are evidences of a hard heart and must be corrected with a firm hand; and, if no improvement is observed, mother and father should even resort to severe corporal punishment.

After the child’s natural roughness has been pretty well polished off in this manner, it must also be taught to get rid of its sensitiveness or touchiness and to conquer its natural aversions or dislikes. The wonderful example of Christ should constantly be kept before its mind, especially His patient endurance of all kinds of injuries, His imperturbably meekness and mildness and His everready [sic] willingness to forgive His enemies and traducers for whom He even prayed after they nailed Him to the Cross. Surely this example will have a powerful influence over the impressionable child-mind and inspire the child to earnest efforts of imitation.

Immaculate Heart of Mary - The high school classroom statue

The worst fruits of human pride are sins against God Himself, namely, indifference to religion and religious practices. These manifest themselves by repeated neglect of divine service, particularly, of the Holy Sacrifice of Mass, by irreverent conduct in Church and at devotional exercises, by desecration of the Lord’s Day and feast days of obligation, by superstitious observances and mockery of religion, by ridiculing the veneration of the saints, their pictures and relics, by cursing and sinful taking of oaths and such other sins against the three first commandments of the decalogue. Indifference towards God and all that relates to Him is, indeed, at the bottom of man’s perversity as of all sin, and only in so far as this indifference can be rooted out, can the heart of man be remodeled and the image of the Divinity be restored in him. Hence the principal efforts must be directed towards this purpose and parents must never cease till they have implanted into the hearts of their children a sincere love of God and a salutary filial fear of Him, till they have awakened in them an ardent zeal for His honor and glory and an eager, joyous readiness to live according to His Will. In this matter, particularly, parents must give a good example, so that the child may see that they themselves are sincerely and truly religious.

The parents must also carefully observe the child at its prayers, never condone any fault in the recital of them, immediately correct any faulty pronunciation of the names of God or of the saints, and, in general, supervise its conduct in all matters pertaining to religion and its practices. Faults and sins against the first three commandments must not be considered lightly and should be earnestly reprehended and, if necessary, more severely punished than faults and sins against any other commandment. The degree of firmness with which parents persist in their efforts to educate and train their children in the proper reverence towards God and religion, will naturally depend upon the degree of esteem in which they hold their dignity as representatives of God and guardians of His honor; the more they realize the dignity of their position, the more they will uphold and defend the rights of God.

To be continued . . .

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The Christian Training of Children – Combating Concupiscence of the Eyes

Sister Maria Philomena, M.I.C.M. — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:48:05 +0000

Table of contents for Mother Love

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

On the Christian Training of Children

We should see the goodness of God in everything!

Chapter V. - How the Christian Mother Should Combat the Concupiscence of the Eyes in Her Child.

The second evil propensity, the concupiscence of the eyes, is the inordinate pleasure in things which attract the eye, such as riches, clothes, houses, furniture, etc. Holy Scripture says: “What doth it profit the owner of riches, except to feast his eyes on them?” Ecclesiasticus, ch. 5, v. 10.

The child must be made to realize that it had, properly speaking, nothing of its own, that everything belongs to its parents. The things a child receives from them, should be considered a gift, for which it owes them a debt of gratitude. It should also be made to understand, that even its parents can call nothing their own, that all they have is loaned to them and should be used for performing works of love and mercy according to the Will of God. Furthermore, the child should be taught to consider the poor its equals, and be glad to share with them whatever they need, so that in the day of judgment it may be rewarded for its helpfulness as having done unto Christ whatever was done unto the least of His brethren. Poverty, in general, should be appreciated as a visitation and a grace of God, by which men become like unto the Master and worthy of eternal life. Heaven should be described to the child as a land teeming with riches and treasures, the least part of which is more valuable than all the accumulated values of the whole world. Finally, the child should be taught that riches and possessions are rather dangerous for the soul and that rich people who are not poor in spirit, whose hearts are not detached from the things of this world, have a hard time saving their souls, as Christ Himself says, it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven. Poverty, on the other hand, with its privations, when borne with patience and for the love and glory of God, is a rich source of eternal merit and reward.

Watching the Blueberry Melodrama with a Sister for company!

Pilfering, which is frequently practiced among children, should be earnestly censured, because it is petty thieving; and continued pilfering as well as larger thefts should be severely punished. A child should never be allowed to take anything without permission, and whatever it needs, it should be obliged to ask for. If the child’s wishes are granted, it should be required to express its thanks, and, if they be refused, it should be trained to accept the refusal with submission and never be permitted to show its disappointment by pouting or grumbling. It should be taught gladly to share with others whatever it has received for its own use or pleasure. When others have more, or prettier, or better things, it should be taught to rejoice in their greater fortune, while on the other hand it should deeply sympathize with the losses of others as if those losses were its own. Gifts of money[,] which a child sometimes receives from friends and relatives, should not be at its own disposal, nor should it have the control of its own little money-bank. Money expenditures for any purpose whatever should always have the permission and the approval of the parents.

Combating the spirit of the world and the inordinate love for temporal possessions, fostering in her children the spirit of Christ, and arousing in their hearts an ardent desire for heavenly things-it is these duties that a Christian mother should consider her most important task, and what we have said may assist her in her very arduous task.

To be continued . . .

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The Christian Training of Children – Combating Concupiscence of the Flesh

Sister Maria Philomena, M.I.C.M. — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:40:08 +0000

Table of contents for Mother Love

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

On the Christian Training of Children

Yes, come with me!

Chapter IV. - How the Christian Mother Should Combat in Her Child the Concupiscence of the Flesh.

The first evil inclination, the concupiscence of the flesh, seeks inordinately after all that gratifies the body, tickles the senses, and excites them to pleasure. Certainly the physical needs must be provided for and the sense activities must be exercised, otherwise life would not be worth living. But, how easily may the proper measure of enjoyment be exceeded, and thus that which might have been, according to St. Paul, a source of heavenly merit and for the greater honor and glory of God, is turned into a source of demerit, sin and punishment!

If then, dear Christian mother, you do not want your child to become the slave of sensual and carnal pleasures, you must train it from its earliest years to self-restraint and self-denial, to application and industry, to order and cleanliness. Among other things therefore a prudent Christian mother will provide for a thorough ventilation of the living and the bed rooms, so that wholesome, fresh air may constantly fill them. She will provide for the children plain, nourishing food, sensible clothing, and a neat comfortable bed; on the other hand, she will withhold from them everything that merely indulges the sensual appetite or wantonly excites the nerves. Children must not be permitted to eat as much and as often as they please, but whatever their reasonable needs demand, should be granted kindly and graciously. Cookies and candies and other palate-ticklers should not be allowed too frequently, since experience teaches that excessive munching of sweetmeats is not only injurious to the teeth and stomach but also to the general health. Try to impress upon the minds of your little ones, Christian mother, that it is a good work occasionally to give up some creature comforts and enjoyments for the love of God, that God especially loves children who act that way and rewards them for it in body and soul. Performing such little mortifications with a good intention is a powerful means of obtaining many favors from God. But in these mortifications children should be supervised so that they may not overdo them.

Playing is hard work!

A Christian mother should let her children play much in the open air, even when the weather is somewhat cold and unpleasant. She should put them to bed early and in the morning also get them out early. They should be taught to get up immediately on the first call, to dress themselves quickly and to make their morning ablutions with cold water. Each child should have its own little daily work to do according to its age and strength, and a fixed time to do it. Dresses and coats, hats and caps, shoes and slippers, as well as playthings should not be allowed to be scattered around, and for everything that belongs to a child there should be a fixed place and it must be trained to put them in the proper places itself. Dirty hands and dirty faces as well as dirty clothes must never be tolerated.

Children should always be cheerful not only at their games and recreations but also at their work and even in their little trials and hurts. As early in life as possible they should be taught that the afflictions and reverses of life, such as excessive cold or heat, slander or gossip, offenses and insults and abuse, sickness and wounds and death, are blessings in disguise and sent by God to wean us from the world and its attractions and arouse in us a greater love and desire for the eternal joys of heaven. They should also be taught to see in them a means which God provides, to atone for our sins, our faults and imperfections. Finally, they should be taught that Jesus Christ Himself was willing to endure the same or similar afflictions during His life here on earth, and that it is a mark of great love of Christ to be satisfied to live amid the same conditions as He did and to bear willingly what He was willing to bear.

Many things are sources of pleasure to children. In the first place there are the things of nature itself. These captivate the eyes of children by their beauty and variety. Naturally, the child admires them, asks questions about them and is happy in knowing them. A Christian mother will not only call attention to their beauty and variety of arrangement, but she will also show how they are evidences of God’s goodness and love as well as proofs of His infinite wisdom and power. The parish church is another source of joy to the child: its majestic appearance, its length and width and height on the outside, and on the inside its altars and their ornamentation, its pews and pictures and statues, its pulpit and confessionals. Gradually, the mother should teach the child the purpose and meaning of them all, so that it may learn to appreciate them as the means by which the salvation of mankind is affected. The feasts of the Church should give the mother opportunities for explanations and stories from the life of Christ in order to instill a greater love of Christ into the heart of her child; when occasion offers she will also narrate stories from the life of the Blessed Virgin Mary, so that the child’s affection for our heavenly Mother may constantly grow and confidence in her tender mercy may increase. Again and again she will tell of the lives of different saints, of their zeal for their own salvation as well as for the salvation of the souls of others and of their love of God and His glory. All that was ever learned in Catechism or Bible History, in sermons or conference, in the Lives of the Saints or some other spiritual book, the Christian mother will impart to her little ones in such simple words that even the youngest may understand. Her efforts will surely be blessed by God and she will enjoy not only the pleasure of gladdening the hearts of her children by her story-telling but will also be rewarded by the earnest endeavors with which her children will try to imitate the virtues of Jesus and Mary and of the saints.

Folk dancing - wholesome entertainment

Another species of joy is derived from home-life and the intimate associations of the family-members. Home, sweet home! Oh, that every home were so sweet and inviting, so pleasant and cheery, that neither father nor children would ever desire to be anywhere else but with and around mother! In such a home every say is the herald of new joys, and certain occasions such as the nameday or birthday of father, mother, brother, or sister and the anniversary of some joyous, important event, are celebrated in a festive manner with some innocent amusements and recreation and sincere testimonies of mutual affection.

In this manner the children will be protected against the deceitful allurements of carnal and worldly pleasures which alas! are only too often the death of purity and innocence. Would to God that every mother at least realized her responsibility in this matter! It may be safely affirmed that the loss of the sense of shame and modesty, so noticeable among the youth of the present generation, is primarily due to the indifference of mothers in observing proper precautions in bathing, dressing and bedding her little ones. Other causes are frequently assigned such as the prevailing fashions of the day, the promiscuous gatherings of young people in dancehalls and amusement places and the modern dances themselves, but all these should be considered as contributing causes merely, since the seed of immodesty and shamelessness was sowed earlier in life.

I can only indicate the sowing of this seed by telling what a mother should not do. A Christian mother will never bathe a child while other children are looking on, nor will she bathe them together at the same time. She will never strip them entirely to change their underwear in the presence of others; she will always have separate rooms and beds for her boys and girls. She will earnestly reprimand even the least breach against modesty and, if repeated, she should severely punish the offender. True, the little one may not understand the indecency of its act, but it is important to impress upon it the gravity of the fault by the infliction of some punishment so that it may not in later life fall into sins which, more that all others, are the cause of eternal damnation. The girls in particular, should be trained in Christian modesty, which includes also decency in dress. Fashions change with the times, so that sooner or later we may expect some improvement in present-day styles; but a mother who today dresses her girls in fashionable décolleté and sleeveless undress, is surely not preventing the violation of the sense of modesty, and is, indeed, contributing to the moral laxity of her daughters.

As the children grow older, the vigilance of parents must become more alert, so that the boys and girls may not become victims of vicious companions who are ever ready to initiate the innocent into the clandestine and sinful methods of sex gratification. As soon as parents observe in their boys and girls a curiosity regarding sex, it would be highly imprudent to conceal from them the desired sex-knowledge, because they will not content themselves with evasions, and the danger is lest they obtain that knowledge in a crude and sinful way. Tell them briefly and frankly what they desire to know, and at the same time warn them against speaking on such subjects with outsiders and encourage them to seek all sex-information from you only-the girls from mother and the boys from father. But also, according to the age of the children, admonish them to preserve their mind[s] and heart[s] pure and chaste through an earnest devotion to the immaculate Blessed Virgin, who is ever ready to help and protect us in all unprovoked dangers and temptations.

To be continued . . .

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The Christian Training of Children – Admonition to Mother

Sister Maria Philomena, M.I.C.M. — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 23:49:38 +0000

Table of contents for Mother Love

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

On the Christian Training of Children

A yummy Field Day treat

Chapter III. – Admonition to the Mother.

Above all things, Christian mother, you yourself should be animated with the love of Christ! You should be a pious disciple, a courageous soldier of Jesus Christ, a Catholic Christian ardently desirous of the attainment of virtue. Have you not been such from your early youth? Be such, at least, and with redoubled earnestness, from the day on which you feel that you are a mother. Permit not the poison of unmortified passions to flow with your milk and life-blood into the heart of your child. That poison will, in later life, expose it to numerous and violent temptations, and even to the danger of eternal damnation. When you carry it in your arms, let Christian meekness, peace, and love beam in your eyes; for your child understands their language, and responds to it eagerly in its own little heart. When it begins to lisp and, under your direction, tries to stammer its first word, then teach it as its firs word, not “Mamma,” or “Papa,” but that name which should be to you also the sweetest and the dearest of all names, namely, the name of Jesus, which will rise as a loving sacrifice of thanksgiving and praise to its Creator, its Redeemer, its Judge, and its Savior. The second should be that which, next to the name of Jesus, has the sweetest sound, namely the dear name of our heavenly Mother Mary. Believe me, the child will experience something of the blessing of these sweet names which causes hell to tremble and heaven to thrill with joy.

Teach your child by your own example. Let all your words and actions in its presence bear upon them the impress of innocence and Christian piety. The child hangs upon you as the apple on the tree, and draws from your deportment and expressions nourishment for the life of its soul. Ah, give it not poison. Supply it with Christian, edifying, enlightening, consoling food; and as its years multiply, be still more careful on this point.

Hold pious converse with your child as soon as it is capable of answering. Sing to it holy hymns, and teach it to sing them after you. Pray with your child. Teach it to repeat with joined hands the words of the prayers after you. If it does not understand your words, it certainly does comprehend your devotion; and the Holy Ghost who dwells in its soul, will effect in its depths the wonders of His inexpressible love.

Pray for your child. You could not free it from original sin, had God not seconded your pious desire by holy Baptism; and just as little, without the grace and mercy of God, can you release it from the threefold concupiscence and imbue it with Christian sentiments. The Divine Savior alone can do that, for He has said: “Without Me you can do nothing.” Turn, then, to Him. Entreat Him, expect everything from His blessing, and attach to your own efforts only as much value as the Lord will be please by His helping hand to supply. You must, indeed, “always pray and never faint,” as the Divine Savior teaches. For as it is your duty ever to provide for the good of your child, so must Jesus Christ constantly lend you His support that you may always make use of the right word and the right manner of acting; namely, that which springing from the Heart of Jesus, will bear fruits of salvation. May your heart, O Christian Mother, be ever as full of prayer to God as it is at all times full of love for your children!

This exhibit tied for Third Place (Science Fair '09)

Be watchful and combat the threefold concupiscence in the heart[s] of your children, wherever and as soon as it shows itself. Do not wait until bad habits have become deeply rooted. Keep the pruning knife always at hand, and cut away the wild branches as soon as they put forth their little heads. What may be easily removed in the beginning, might later on cost you years of bitter tears, tears of heartfelt regret, and even then you might be unable to effect a reform. Rear your little on in such a way that the power of its evil inclinations may be broken before it knows what evil is. Well disposed and carefully reared children, even at the early age of four, no longer need corporal chastisement, no longer have need of severe correction; a glance, a gentle sign or a word is sufficient. Still, I know well that children are not alike. Some give more trouble and take longer to correct than others. But if a child over twelve years of age still needs chastisements, it is, for the most part, a sign that in the administration of such punishment in the past, something has been wanting.

Bring before your child the words and example of Jesus, as soon as it is able to understand. Has it been guilty of some naughtiness say “Little Jesus never did anything like that!” “Ah, now you are grieving dear little Jesus!” “What would the little Child Jesus think were you to do such a thing!” -If the child has performed some good action, say: “That’s the way little Jesus used to do!” He says, “if you love Me keep My commandments!” “He that loveth Me not, keepeth not My words!” “Jesus loves good little children!” Or again, “Jesus Chirst forbids that!” or, “Jesus commands this,” etc.

Be not without anxiety when your children are out of the house. You know how inexperienced, innocent, and thoughtless they are. Do not permit them to go into neighbors’ houses, or to any place in which you are not sure that their innocence and their soul’s welfare will receive no harm. Give them rules, instructions, and warnings for their conduct on the street; and on their return inquire how they have behaved themselves, what they did and said, what they heard. Make yourself acquainted with these points by means of others, and direct your future line conduct by what you may discover. Many a child well guarded at home has learned wickedness out-doors and stained its soul.

If the child gives evidence of possessing one of the three concupiscences in an especially strong form[,] search your own heart and actions, notice the disposition and life of the father, and see whether the same inclination is not found there. Consider whether or not up to the present you have taken serious action against it. Resolve now, at least, to free yourself from it. Facilitate by your own conversion that of your child; by your own improvement, the improvement of the child.

And when you have done all that lies in your power, say in your heart: “I am a useless servant. I have done what I was obliged to do, and by far not as I should have done.” The good results that you observe in the child, attribute humbly to divine grace, ascribing to yourself only faults and sins; and beg Almighty God to repair and forgive the harm you have done your child. Then your merit and reward will be truly great, if you refer to God alone all the honor your children bring you.

To be continued . . .

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The Christian Training of Children – New and more Difficult Cares

Sister Maria Philomena, M.I.C.M. — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 19:42:00 +0000

Table of contents for Mother Love

Little Book of Instructions for Christian Mothers [continued]
(from Mother Love – A Manual for Christian Mothers – by Rev. Pius Franciscus, O.M.Cap., 1926)

On the Christian Training of Children

Chapter II. – The Two Ways and Kingdoms. New and more Difficult Cares.

Through baptism the child is consecrated to the Divine Savior. It becomes His own property and possession, subject to Him and forever bound to Him, believing in Him, hoping in Him, and loving Him, disposed to live and act as He wills and as His example suggests. It is for the mother to help it on to this. If she is accustomed to follow her natural inclinations, she will find her task a most difficult one; for the life of the Divine Savior was in no way similar to that of our lower nature. It was diametrically opposed to it.

Our nature longs for temporal possessions, seeks after prosperity, riches, and affluence: but the life of Jesus was one of the greatest poverty. He possessed nothing on earth, not even a place whereon to rest His head.

Our nature loves comfort, seeks pleasures, entertainments, amusements; whereas the life of Jesus was full of privation, hardship, labor, pain, and suffering. It was an uninterrupted “Way of the Cross,” a continued martyrdom, a perpetual penance.

Our nature prizes honor and a good name, strives after authority and high places, desires to see itself in power, loves display, titles, influence, command. The life of Jesus, on the contrary, was simple, His deportment unpretending. He avoided honors. He permitted calumnies, invectives, persecution. He stood as a criminal before the courts of justice; and, after the most cruel treatment, He died in the bitterest pain upon the cross amid the triumph of His enemies.

Mary’s maternal heart suffered inexpressibly during the injuries to which her Divine Son subjected Himself; but with all that she would not have had it otherwise. She knew and she constantly kept before her eyes that such was precisely the will of God, that it was in accordance with His eternal decrees for the human race, and most necessary for the atonement of sin and the salvation of souls.

It's a long climb back up

In the same way, Christian mother, should you be disposed. A life of mortification of the natural inclinations is just as necessary for your child as for yourself. With original sin is engendered in nature inordinate concupiscence which excites to evil: the concupiscence of the flesh, the concupiscence of the eyes, and the pride of life. By the waters of Baptism, original sin is effaced; but the threefold concupiscence, although weakened, still remains. Your child possesses sufficient grace and it will receive still more, in order victoriously to resist it; but it will have to struggle, and only by an uninterrupted succession of conflicts will it be able to hold its ground. You should stand by it, guarding, animating, and supporting it. You should steel your heart, and firmly oppose all the emotions, desires, and wishes that arise from the dark depths of its sinful nature. How will you be able to do this if you are not yourself a true follower of Jesus Christ, if you are not, as was the holy Mother of God, filled with the spirit of sacrifice and the love of the cross?

Mankind ever was and is still divided into two kingdoms, each opposed to the other, each warring against the other. In the one reigns the spirit of Jesus Christ, the spirit of self-denial and penance. Hearts are lovingly turned toward the Divine Savior. They wish on earth nothing different from Him, they allow themselves to be ruled by His grace, and they go willingly along the route pointed out to them by his providence. Baptism admits to citizenship in this kingdom, in which the fundamental laws are faith, hope and charity. They are, also, the conditions of remaining in it. Let but only love be extinct, and the bond of union with Jesus Christ is broken; union of heart is dissolved, and the way into the opposite kingdom, into the enemies’ camp, is entered upon.

The majority of mankind belongs to this Kingdom of Antichrist. They are all those that have in heart separated from Jesus Christ, have disbelieved His word, have not heard His Church, and have abandoned themselves to evil concupiscences. They are called in Holy Scripture, “The children of this world,” because loving earthly pleasures, they have renounced those of heaven. According to the same sacred authority, their leader is the devil, who incites them to the gratification of their lower appetites, and by this halter leads them along a broad road and through a wide gate to eternal perdition.

Two of the high school girls before Christmas

Between these two kingdoms, Christian Mother, your child is placed. Love and the graces it has received lead it to Jesus Christ and His Church; evil concupiscence, on the contrary, inclines it tot the world and the devil. It needs constant watchfulness on the part of the mother, even from its earliest years, to prevent the influence of such power over the soul of the child. If she fully performs her duty, them will her child, on coming to the use of reason, be prepared and ready for the combat against the snares of concupiscence and the allurements of the world. And if the mother continues to teach and to guide it, it may happen that her child, neither in its earliest childhood, nor as a youth or maiden, a man or woman of mature age, will ever seriously turn away from the love of Jesus Christ. At the hour of death, it will resign to the earth a sinless body, and to heaven a spotless soul in all the splendor of Baptismal innocence. Happy such a mother! She will with great confidence stand before the Judge to receive the magnificent reward prepared for those that have not only loved Him to the end, but that have inspired others with the same love and have confirmed them in it.

But what of a child whose mother neglects it and through gross indifference permits evil passions to grow in its soul?-There begins for such a little one with the dawn of reason, a life of sin; and it is not long before it falls mortally. Then are baptismal grace and baptismal innocence forever lost; penance is now the only way left by which it can be rescued. If, under the influence of strong passions, of great worldliness, this way of penance is rejected or adopted without a determined resolution to combat temptation,–then, alas, the child will be lost! O what a severe account will the mother have to render at the judgment seat of God when He shall demand of her the soul of her child! Where is that soul which He loved so unspeakably, which He entrusted to her in its holiness and innocence, and which she should have restored to Him in that same holiness and innocence!

To be continued . . .

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